Fine lines (and I'm not talking about wrinkles!)

Sometimes I forget that I might have more blog readers than just the ones who post comments. But how will I know? Do I make my blog private? But then will anyone ever read it if they have to always log into it?

These questions came about as I realized that what I post here isn't private. And of course, what is posted on facebook, is only as private as I've chosen to make it by way of the facebook security settings.

And people talk.

Yesterday my boss walked over to where I was hanging out on a couch. Another manager wandered over and there were others in the area. My boss proceeded to tell me that a bird flew into his office and told him some news about me and he wanted confirmation from me. He then said "pitter patter, pitter patter" and my heart sank a little as I stared at my gatorade bottle. I couldn't deny the claim - but in all honesty, I wasn't ready to tell work my news just yet. He said that because I wasn't denying it, he knew it was true - then he congratulated me. I told him that I had just told my family and some close friends right before I went to Maui and that there were still some of my close friends who haven't been informed and that I was going to tell him, but in my own timing. He headed to his office and proceeded to have a one on one with his boss, where the news was spread...

This upset me. I mean...yes, I chose to publish the news here, in public on my blog. But I've searched my name on google and haven't found my blog that way, so I was pretty sure that it was a safe spot that only those cool people I know have a link to.

I caught something (a sinus and puking kind of thing) on the return flight from Maui (I'm assuming that's where I got it from anyway..). And last night I was not able to sleep due to the new sickness combined with the stress of the politics at work.

I don't know why, but with this pregnancy I've been unsure the whole time so far. I wasn't going to tell my boss until I was 12 weeks - I figured that was the safe time frame to work within. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that my boss can not keep a secret (which is more reason to why I was waiting). So I knew that this news would be traveling fast through our org once he knew - and it's only been a week (maybe 2 now?) since I really started telling family and friends our special news. I haven't even told my team yet...

So anyway. My feeling is of frustration. I know that the promotion plans will be influenced by my pregnant status and that career development takes a whole new road from here (not saying I was trying to stay at this job long enough to see all of that, but sometimes you have to roll with the corporate way until you depart). Anywho. Lots of thoughts in my head. Thought I'd share here to get some of it off my chest.

We are going on a special overnight trip this weekend to celebrate our anniversary. I'm thinking this will be the perfect de-stressing for me. I planned the little trip and haven't told Pete what or where we're going - but I'm really excited!! It's just one night, but it will be my first night away from Hailey and our first night away from her together. I think I'm most excited about the giant soaking tub. Oh how I love baths!!

Have a good weekend!